~ with Sunshine Coast wedding celebrant Kari ~
What does a truckload of wheel-barrows have to do with ceremony? Intrigued? read on….
Ritual and ceremony find a place in many different contexts.
Marriage celebrant Kari recently had the opportunity to be a part of an unusual ritual and an extraordinary project in Bali, Indonesia.
Instigator of the endeavour, Kay Parslow had this to say,
”Project 50 started as a simple idea to make the working lives of a group of women from the Balinese village of Pennestanan, a little easier, but also to foster friendship and to make connections with another culture.”
In every respect Kay has achieved her goals, with the help of a group of Australians willing to be a part of Project 50.
But to begin at the beginning….
Two years ago whilst basking in her thatched cottage overlooking some Balinese rice fields, it dawned on Kay that she had been watching a line of women carrying tin dishes of bricks, rocks and gravel on their heads; to and fro along a narrow concrete path. These women carry building materials from the roadside dump point, along narrow paths, to the actual building site in the rice fields, many 100’s of meters away. They do this all day, every day, as long as there is work.
In an endeavour to give back to the community she was staying with, Kay bought some new tin dishes for the women. It soon transpired that there were many more women than one woman could help.
On her return to Australia she hatched a plan to connect a group of working women in Australia with a group of working women in Bali. She garnered support from 50 Australians, each one donating a small sum of money to a pool of funds. These funds were initially used to buy new tin dishes, new hats, shoes, shirts and cement to repair the bumpy path, but in the back of her mind, Kay was thinking wheel barrows. It may be OK to carry vegies from the market on one’s head as per centuries of tradition, but rocks and bricks were ‘breaking the camels’ backs’.
Recently I had the opportunity to take Project 50 funds to Bali with husband Stephen and father Peter. As a donor, I was keen to make sure that our assistance did not have any negative impacts on the local community. This recent experience taught me that it is not as easy as it sounds to donate equipment to a community. The gift could be fraught with concerns of creating imbalance, or false need, or upsetting local systems.
To overcome these fears and potential problems it was important to talk,….lots of talk, and give opportunity for the women themselves to speak. Having fluency in the Indonesian language as one of my skills was crucial to this aspect of the project.
My first task was to have a round table dicussion with the women on their working lives and how they could benefit from extra assistance. The conversation began gently; I clarified, that the donors were working women of Australia who wished to help working women of Bali. They too had jobs, families and husbands. Perhaps I rolled my eyes at this point, but it seemed to break the ice, and much laughter ensued. Suddenly the stories were flowing. Children, husbands, families; we realised we had so much in common, and the cultural barriers dropped. It was now a conversation amongst women of the world.
It transpired that they had already started using wheel-barrows; borrowed and begged from building sites. Yes they would love to own their own working tools. The message was clear.
Funds were used to buy 28 wheel-barrows and pairs of rubberised gloves. Thanks to last minute donors, my parents , for pitching just as our funds were running out, in to buy the final barrow to complete the groups needs.
The celebrant in me wondered if ritual was appropriate at the hand over moment. Checking this idea with my wise friends and local facilitators of Project 50, brother and sister team Made Yus and Wayan Murda, it was decided to be a great idea. These two Balinese have been generous and willing locals in facilitating the Project 50 goals. We are very grateful for their wisdom, guidance and warm friendship.
The truck arrived laden with red barrows, and the women gathered. With Dad on documentation duty and Made Yus and Wayan Murda standing by we began our humble but poignant ceremony. A blessing was created, encompassing the donors and the recipients; a kind of prayer from Australian working women to Balinese working women.
Using water from the rice fields, in a locally made ceramic pot, adorned by the face of Barong who keeps the good spirits around and the bad spirits at bay, scented with drops of lavendar oil, each woman and barrow was blessed, one by one; water poured over their hands and barrows. We wiped our faces and chests with the moisture, bringing the blessing deep into our hearts, and washing ourselves with intent. It is very Balinese, but alo connects with rituals held the world over. It was a solemn moment ripe with promise. It was a deeply felt moment full of friendship.
I gave this belssing to the women, their families, their barrows and the families who would benefit from their work. In a country where ritual is part of everyday life, this moment was appreciated and respected. Each woman felt she had received more than simply a tool for work. She felt the energy of Project 50, and the dream of Kay, who commented, “this is where I think ceremony plays such an integral part….in making heartfelt connections and formalising relationships…giving context to form and garnering respect between parties. I love that the Project ended with a ceremony….. completed the circle making strong connections with another culture”.
For the following week, myself, my father and husband had a string of friendly greetings each time we walked the paths. “Halo, halo”.
From each and every woman, we received 100’s of genuine, heartwarming and grateful thanks. No gift that I have ever given has been more appreciated.
We carry these messages to the donors.
On our final day, we came home to find a pile of fruit on our doorstep, a return gift from the women of Project 50. This project had ceased to be about the comparatively wealthy giving to the poor, but now an exchange, of friendship. I felt the Project had come full circle.
As Kay says, “The women have benefited on a material level with new hats, shoes, shirts, cement to repair some of their paths, aluminium tins and the recently purchased wheelbarrows. There is a hope that their lives, as well as ours, have been enriched in other ways by the experience.
Buying wheelbarrows was the first idea that came to mind so in a sense it feels like the Project has come to completion. It was impossible to imagine that two years on our actions have actually resulted in the women keeping their jobs, as now having a wheelbarrow, is a prerequisite to employment.”
I feel many lives have been enriched, certainly mine, by a very humbling experience. I return home full of appreciation for what those women gave to me. It was a teary farewell, as they urged us to come back soon.
Photos by Peter Strickland
Valentines Day makes us think about love; a valentine love.
Love poetry of Rumi
And the poetry of Rumi is often about love, in the deepest sense. Just like a wedding vow or marriage proposal. His poetry is not a Hallmark giftcard message. The love poetry of Rumi makes us pause and think, helps us to go deeper and reflect what love means inside and how to show it outside.
Your task is not to seek for love
but merely to seek and find all the barriers
within yourself that you have built against it
Love is the Water of Life
Drink it down with heart and soul!
The springtime of Lovers has come,
that this dust bowl may become a garden;
the proclamation of heaven has come,
that the bird of the soul may rise in flight.
The sea becomes full of pearls,
the salt marsh becomes sweet as kauthar,
the stone becomes a ruby from the mine,
the body becomes wholly soul.
~ with Sunshine Coast wedding celebrant – Kari.
“You are thought and I am sound.
I am the words and you are the melody.
I am the melody and you are the words.”
Congratulations Belinda & Biju, married in an Australian Hindu wedding ceremony on the Sunshine Coast Hinterland.
Belinda and Biju came to me requesting an unusual wedding ceremony. Biju comes from India and wished to include several Hindu elements into the ceremony. Belinda is Australian and wanted a wedding ceremony that reflected this land and the traditions of Australia. And so we wove a truly multicultural ceremony, an occasion to honour both cultures.
The Golden statue was centre of the setting; an altar to Ganesha. Around the statue were placed several ceremonial objects; a candle, flowers and fruit in offering to Ganesh. The theme colours were vibrant and alive; deep pink, bold red, fragrant yellow and burnt orange. Gerberas in all these flame colours were placed around Ganesh.
And for the fun of colour and festive atmosphere, paper lanterns in deep orange and pink were hung in the branches of the centuries old fig tree; an ancient witness to the sacredness of the celebration.
Biju was very confident when he asked me, the celebrant, to sing the essential incantations in the Sanskrit language. For who else would do it, he asked. And so I did! His trust helped me to learn the appropriate blessings, and the role they played in the ceremony. And I sang for this lovely couple, to bless their married lives.
Photos by Darren Frankish of Kish Photography
In any culture marriage is a sacred and treasured union. According to Hinduism, marriage between two persons is a sacred relationship that is not limited to this life alone. It extends across seven or more lives, during which the couple help each other progress spiritually. The adage that marriages are made in heaven is very much true in the case of Hinduism. Two souls come together and marry because their karmas are intertwined and they have to resolve many things together upon earth in order to ensure their mutual salvation.
In an ancient Hindu text it is said that when the one man loves the one woman and the one woman loves the one man, the angels abandon heaven and go sit with the couple and sing for joy. Just looking around the guests we could see the angels present.
In Hinduism every auspicious occasion begins with an invocation to Lord Ganesha. Blessings are sought for a ceremony that will be free from impediments and for a marriage free from all hardships and obstacles. Ganesha’s grace is invoked for the health, happiness, prosperity, and peace of the bride and groom and their families. The offerings included flowers for beauty, coconut for fertility, rice for sustenance, and sweets to ensure a sweet life!
The ceremony included many traditions and customs from a Hindu Wedding in India, involving the family, water and fire, and song and walking circles around Ganesha and the altar.
A special moment is when the bride and groom take seven steps; steps towards their lives together, a set of wedding vows,
On the first step; Together we shall cherish each other in sickness and health, in happiness and sorrow
On the second step; Together we shall be lifelong friends
On the third step; Together we shall share each other’s ideals
On the fourth step; Together we shall nurture each other’s strengths, talents, and aspirations
On the fifth step; Together we shall make each other happy
On the sixth step; Together we shall love, provide and care for our children and our families
On the seventh step; Together we will look forward to the mysteries of the future with awe, open-mindedness, and inspiration
We have taken the seven steps. You have become mine forever. Yes, we have become partners. I have become yours. Hereafter, I cannot live without you. Do not live without me. Let us share the joys. We are word and meaning, united. You are thought and I am sound. I am the words and you are the melody. I am the melody and you are the words.
These vows are poignant and poetic. They are not dissimilar to vows from an Australian ceremony. Walking around the altar added an extra poetry to the steps of marriage they undertook. I congratulate Belinda and Biju on blending their two cultures seemlessly and with great love and patience.
As a marriage celebrant I am often requested to accommodate the unusual. This is my specialty. I have sung in sanskrit, read in Afrikaans, waxed poetic in French, and played my wooden flute or lap harp. Just ask me, you never know what I will agree to!