Framing wedding memories…. When should one step out of frame?
A celebrant should be right there for you during your ceremony. But sometimes your celebrant needs to be out of frame too. As a celebrant myself I always want to appear appropriate for your wedding. Elegantly dressed, well presented… and in some of your photos so you can remember your ceremony.
However, I realise you don’t want me in ALL your wedding photos from the ceremony. I like to step out of the frame sometimes. There are moments when a celebrant needs to step aside, and allow you to be the only ones in the frame.
When are these moments? Why does a celebrant need to be mindful of the moment? Being mindful of your memories is part of the role of celebrant.
Shireen and Aaron’s Wedding
Previously I wrote about this gorgeous Spicers Clovelly Estate wedding. Read the back story here.
With the focus on a couple and two children, it was definitely appropriate for me to step out of the frame at several opportune moments. The question that a celebrant juggles is how can I be supportive and yet not always right in the centre of frame?
When should a celebrant disappear from the wedding photos? Consider these very personal memories in your wedding ceremony, 7 moments when a celebrant should be out of the frame:
1. Groomsmen only
In my celebrant role, I often hang around with the fellas before the ceremony. The groomsmen and I work out things like
- Where to stand, in relation to the arbour, altar or floral decor.
- What order they are arranged
- Are their button hole flowers fixed on right… in a way that is firm, and will not cause a stray pin to spike someone later when hugs are happening.
- Where to put their hands
- Are the rings safe
- When and how to present the rings
Then it is time for me to step aside and allow the photographer to get some shots of the fellas.
2. When the bride arrives
Chatting with the groom before the ceremony keeps things casual and relaxed. It gives me time to relay some last minute tips, and have a few laughs to break the seriousness of the occasion. There is that poignant moment when a groom sees his bride for the first time. Suddenly I am not there, as he steps forward to greet her and those accompanying her down the aisle. Time for hand shakes with Dad or Mum, brother or son. Time for hugs and delight in seeing the bride for the first time in all her splendour. Time for taking in the emotion of the moment. Time to invite the bride into the wedding space.
I allow time.
3. While you say your vows
These words are gifts. Standing to the side or gently holding your microphone, I slide into the background. Of course there is a supporting role needed here, and I am right there…..but I make sure to be aware of where the photographer is standing, and adjust myself behind or out of the way.
4. Always, always, always …. during the wedding kiss
Need I say more… this is that moment everyone looks forward to, the seal of a kiss. Step away celebrant!
5. Special rituals
In the story of Shireen and Aaron, we had designed a special vow to the children. So of course this was a photo opportunity for a family moment; united in one name at last.
6. Signing the wedding certificates
The signing is an official aspect of the wedding ceremony. So of course the celebrant needs to witness every signature. 5 people need to sign; the couple, two witnesses and of course the marriage celebrant too. And there are three certificates to sign. So that makes 15 signatures all up…..
Don’t worry, you don’t need to know beforehand who goes where. I will indicate to all where they need to place their squiggle. We want to keep it legal after all.
However after the last signature is in the bag…. I step aside for your group photo, and help arrange flowers, certificates, rings etc for the closeups. I always work in with the photographer.
7. Finally back down the aisle
Assisting with timing at this point can help you get the best photos. My celebrant role is not done yet. I help couple and attendants know when is the best moment to walk down the rows of chairs… creating the perfect photo opportunities along the way.
But there are of course times when the celebrant needs to be in the picture….not out of frame!!
When to be in the Frame
Thanks to Taylah of Tay and Francis for the stunning images in this story
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A Wedding at Parliament House
A wedding of stately grandeur in Parliament House? Not possible!
Well yes it is…but you need to know the right person.
Congratulations to Bec and Gary, who did indeed know the right person. Actually their parents did!
Bec and Gary contacted me from England, where they were living. Bec’s parents, here in Brisbane, were eagerly awaiting their daughter’s return for her wedding to her English beau Gary. While they waited Mum searched for the perfect place for the wedding ceremony and reception; somewhere stately, somewhere resonant of England and Australia. Who would have thought Parliament House would be available? The building is old and very grand. The rooms are stately and bedecked in resplendent furniture, lamps and trimmings with the lushness of a state’s rooms and a bygone era.
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Brisbane Parliament House
Brisbane Parliament House is a regal building. There are two parliamentary chambers. One is not used for government any more.
The Legislative Chambers are a beautiful set of rooms, with no modern computers and such to impede the magnificence of the room.
It was here that Bec’s father walked his daughter, the bride, down the aisle to a waiting groom, Gary.
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Bride’s Song
I love the lyrics from the song Rebecca chose for her arrival into the Parliament House chambers.
Home – is where I want to be
But I guess I’m already there
I come home she lifted up her wings
Guess that this must be the place
I can’t tell one from the other
Did I find you, or you find me?
There was a time before we were born
If someone asks, this is where I’ll be . . . where I’ll be
Song Lyrics for a Parliament wedding
These words describe how Rebecca and Gary feel about each other…they feel like they have found home. They had travelled and worked away for some time.
Home is in each other, not where they reside. Gary had realised he’d go anywhere to be with Bec, to make sure she didn’t get away!
*****
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Wedding Reception at Parliament House
The reception was held in the impressive dining room with all the tableware of the house; heavy linen cloths, splendid silverware, gorgeous crockery and vases. This is vintage with absolute class and quality. Let your vintage heart go wild! The silver was polished to perfection, the china gleaming and with gold rims and crests. Simple and elegant, regal almost. The kind of absolutely matching dinner set any bride could dream of. every table alike yet with understated elegance. Bec and Gary put their touches on it all with sprigs of herbs, and the names of their fav pubs.
Table names – English Pubs
This is what I truly loved – the names of the wedding tables. Bec and Gary named each table after a pub in London they had visited. Each pub had a special memory for them; the first drink together, the first kiss, the first birthday….
Just the names of English Pubs are evocative of weddings; The Star and Garter for example or perhaps The Five Bells. However Bec and Gary revisited their courtship through the names of their very own special drinking holes of London when they lived there together.
Thanks to Elisabeth Harvey for the magnificent images:
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Married in a green Wedding Dress
Do I have to be married in white, you ask?
Of course not. Queen Victoria started the white wedding trend by deciding not to wear the classic royal wedding colour of silver. She preferred white. before that the ordinary folk simply married in their best clothes. Whatever colour they were.
So how about a green wedding dress? The outcome was stunning.
Congratulations to Alicia and Carlo, married on a stunning day in August at the Spotted Chook in Montville in the hinterland range.
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The green dress
Alicia stunned everyone with her beautiful green wedding dress. But most of all, for her gentle groom, Carlo, she was absolutely beautiful. She was an elegant picture in soft green on her wedding day. The green bride dress in soft silk with elegant and understated lace trims was stunning. Her decision to be married in green was a great choice. Married in green is sublime against the forest backdrop.[/vc_column_text][vc_single_image image=”38564″ img_size=”large” alignment=”center”][vc_column_text]
Spotted Chook Wedding venue
This couple wanted a time to be together with their family, not just for the moments of a ceremony, but for a whole weekend away, in the hinterland. They chose the Spotted Chook, because of the intimacy of the surroundings and the ability to have a retreat weekend with the entire guest list. The French provincial themed Spotted Chook has rooms decorated in every colour and a little hideaway cottage for the wedded couple.
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Their love story
When Alicia met Carlo, she was planning to leave the UK and return to Australia. As a result of this meeting, she stayed three more years! Carlo knew he had found a true partner, someone who matched him. Alicia and Carlo had already been committed to each other for quite a while when I met them. They describe marriage to me as a meeting of independent souls.
The family
On their wedding day so many people were included. Several couples and groups walked down the aisle to the ceremony in the gazebo looking over the sloping lawns and gardens. It is not only the bridal party who can walk down the aisle. There was Mum, some important family, the bridesmaid, and then the breath taking Bride on the arm of her father.
Wedding Dress not white
I congratulate Alicia on standing her ground for a wedding dress that was not white. Not easy in the face of the bridal industry, who would wish white on every bride. She looked more than stunning in a glorious shade of green. And certainly took my breath away. So girls, take Alicia’s example, and choose your own coloured wedding dress, the one just for you.
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Cute wedding kids
And check out the cute wedding kids…. adorable!
Photos by Mandy and Jason of AWPP Photography.
Watch the unfolding story of their ceremony in pictures
If you liked this colour story, try one about a purple wedding dress
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Wedding traditions
Wedding traditions can be a part of your wedding ceremony. They can come from any culture or heritage. Different traditions can make your wedding quite unique. You can draw from your own culture or heritage. Or you can be inspired by other wedding traditions. Together we can craft them to suit you, who you are and what you want your wedding day to feel like.
A real wedding
Mateja and Jason approached me with a delightful and unique wedding tradition from her cultural background. Coming from Croatia, Mateja knew that there was some fun to be had. She wanted to gently integrate a Croatian family wedding tradition into her Australian wedding. We discussed how to help the guests feel included. She wanted to create some fun and acknowledge her cultural heritage at the same time.
The Bridal Switch
The Bride Switch is one of the most amusing customs in Croatia. Traditionally the groom arrives with his guests in front of the bride’s house and asks for his bride. A male family member from the bride’s family opens the door. However the family are not giving the bride away so easily. They want to make sure the groom really wants her.
The bride’s family try to “cheat” the groom and his best man by giving him a false bride. This can include all kinds of tricks. They offer a doll dressed in a veil, a baby clothed in white, a little girl with flowers. They try to give the groom a straw broom dressed in lace, a bloke in a frock, or the grandmother veiled and smiling, or even one of the young bridesmaids.
After being jokingly hoodwinked a few times, the groom finally gets to see his bride and then both parties unite and leave for the church.
How did it work
In honour of Mateja’s cultural background, on her wedding day at The Rocks by the Maroochy River, we embraced this Croatian Wedding tradition. I sent Jason away for a moment to explain it to the guests. They smiled as they detected some fun to be had. I enlisted their help to call out and object each time a false bride was offered. They were encouraged to shout hints, heckle and advise the groom not to accept someone less than his gorgeous bride.
Jason’s best man, John, helped us out on behalf of the bride’s family. As we waited for the bride, I asked John to go and see if she was ready. He returned with a doll dressed in a long white wedding veil.
There were wild calls of wrong choice and Jason blankly refused to be duped. He said he wanted a real person to marry.
So John tried again and returned with a sweet boy dressed in white.
Again the guests loudly objected on Jason’s behalf. And he just stood shaking his head… with a smile on his face. He said, no my bride is a beautiful woman.
John tried one more time, returning with the beautiful bridesmaid, Beatriz, escorting her down the aisle. Surely the groom would be happy with what he had asked for?
Jason told him firmly that he is very close, but insists that Mateja is his bride no other will be acceptable.
The music started and Mateja appeared at the top of the stairs, elegantly walking down the aisle on the arm of her Dad, Mladen.
And so the wedding began, honouring a fun and engaging Croation wedding tradition, and establishing the mood of the day… absolute fun.
Congratulations and thank you for sharing your wedding tradition with your guests. Here’s what Mateja and Jason had to say.
Thanks to brother Sam for the amazing photographs capturing the fun of the day, and to Michelle and the amazing team at The Rocks Yandina for the wonderful support, and sublime decor in yellow and white.
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DIY Wedding
Jess and Jesse married at Verrierdale Community Hall on the Sunshine Coast. Their DIY wedding was a grand party with loads of laughter.
When Jess met Jesse, it was love almost instantly. Laughs are the hallmark of their love and their life. And they are the only ones who don’t get the names confused!!! But as a marriage celebrant, it took supreme focus to marry Jess to Jess, without getting my tongue totally tied!!
Their DIY wedding was so much fun.
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A Love Story
Eight years ago Jess met Jesse, two happy people recognised something in each other’s smiles. It was instant attraction.
Jess recalls thinking to herself, “I could marry that boy”. Little did she know!
What I noticed as a wedding celebrant, is that these two match. It was evident from the first instant; their smiles, their bubbly, cheery selves that radiated a relaxed and joyous energy to all around them. They love to explore, embrace the ocean, surf, swim, walk and run beside it, immerse themselves in it. Jess loves his generous soul, how her man will do anything for anyone. He just loves her, all of her. He appreciates her energetic and strong will. They know that each other is the best friend they could find in this world, feeling completely at ease together.
And that brought them to Verrierdale Hall. It was a time to pause, look back, and smile at all the moments that brought them to their wedding day. And a time to look ahead at all the moments that are still to come. Marriage does not change what is already there, a strong commitment; a tried and true relationship. It adds another layer of commitment to something already strong and wondrous. Jess said he wanted to marry because she is a super chilled out chick who loves the ocean and outdoors as much as he. Their relationship in two words; relaxed.
It could be said that marriage changes everything and nothing. I know these two did not marry lightly. They have considered what it means to marry, a symbol of deep love, understanding and a promise of a commitment already held. And before they settle and embrace a family of their own they wished to be married, and vow an indefinite future to each other. But more importantly they wanted a huge celebration for all their friends, and family.
Lucky us eh! Sweet of them to consider all of us so much.
Congratulations to Jess and Jesse, you two are perfect for each other.
“Thank you for an incredible day 😊You were awesome!!! ” Jess Hart
Thanks to Carly and Co Photography for the brilliant images featured in this real Sunshine Coast wedding story
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