Handfasting Wedding Rituals
A handfasting wedding ceremony is just one way to say I do.
Handfasting rituals
Since ancient times couples have stood together in the ceremony of marriage. There are many rituals that have lasted centuries, that symbolise a couple’s love and commitment. The handfasting ceremony dates back to the time of the ancient Celts. It was often used to acknowledge the beginning of a trial period of a year and a day during which time a couple were literally bound together – hand fasted. It was, however, a temporary agreement, which could be made permanent after the trial period if both parties agreed. It is from this wedding tradition that we know of the expression to “tie the knot”, or to “get hitched”.
Nowadays, the handfasting ceremony is used symbolically, as part of the declaration and wedding vows. It is a way of asking your intentions.
Would you like to Tie the Knot?
Today a couple can embrace an age-old marriage tradition, making it your own in a modern day ceremony. In a handfasting wedding ritual, a cord is tied about your hands as you take your vows.
In this handfasting ritual, the couple answer a series of questions. For each question a binding, for each binding a promise.
Once you are all tied up, as your marriage celebrant I can release the cords. For in fact, it is your promises that bind you not the cords! But you get to keep the cord … for fun!
Thanks to the wonderful Luke Going for the beautiful images of this touching moment. His work is unique.
Cate and Dave were married by the lake. They wanted a relaxed wedding, something a little different, not churchy, but laid back like themselves. They embraced a Handfasting to express their vows.
How does it work?
Here are some ways to approach a handfasting ceremony. Of course I am here with many examples at my fingertips, a whole list of vows for you to choose from, and a wealth of creative spirit to write for you. Let’s mix it up, modernise the sentiments and reference the traditions that you want to hold onto.
Traditional Handfasting vows
The traditional handfasting promises are a series of questions. They acknowledge that life is not always easy, that relationships sometimes have unintentional outcomes. But a good intent underlies the love.The classic questions begin like so:
Celebrant to groom: Will you cause her pain?
Groom: I may
Celebrant to groom: Is that your intention?
Groom: No
Celebrant to bride: Will you cause him pain?
Bride: I may
Celebrant to bride: Is that your intention?
Bride: No
Celebrant to both: Will you share each other’s pain and seek to ease it?
Both: Yes
Celebrant to both: Please join your hands.
The first cord is draped across the bride and grooms hands.
Celebrant to bride: Will you share his laughter?
Bride: Yes
Celebrant to groom: Will you share her laughter?
Groom: Yes
Celebrant to both: Will both of you look for the brightness in life and the positive in each other?
Both: Yes
Celebrant: And so the binding is made
Modern handfasting questions
But you can devise modern handfasting promises instead. Something along the lines of:
Do you vow in your married life together to continually break through your pre-conceived views of each other and see clearly.
Couple: We do
Do you vow to act wisely and compassionately with one another and with all beings.
Couple: We do
In my role as a writer, I can chat with you and then devise a series of questions that suit your very own values and ideals for approaching your relationship.
Romantic Handfastings
Or perhaps you’d prefer something rather romantic.
Will you promise your deepest love, your fullest devotion, your tenderest care, and your faithfulness through the pressures of the present and the uncertainties of the future?
Bruce & Emma: We pledge
Do you promise to be an equal loving partner, in a loving, honest relationship, standing by each other’s side, making a shelter of your heart, a home of your arms, encouraging your partner’s daily endeavours?
Bruce & Emma: We pledge
As you face the future together will you pledge to grow in your love for each other, to nurture the love that already is, honour and cherish each other, being there always?
Bruce & Emma: We pledge
Handfasting ribbons
You can get quite creative with the handfasting wedding vow format. Imagine having a different coloured ribbon for each promise. And each wedding promise sculpted around the meanings of those colours.
Red for passion and love
For example the handfasting could become a statement instead of a question:
I promise to love passionately and unwaveringly with my heart, my body and my soul.
A pink ribbon could symbolise unity, honour, truth, romance, and happiness, with the statement:
I promise you my undying love, honesty and commitment in creating and nourishing our loving equal partnership.
A yellow ribbon would mean charm, confidence, joy, balance
Black could equal strength, wisdom, vision and or success
Green stands for prosperity, health, abundance and fertility
Blue often represents tranquillity, patience, understanding and a safe journey
Of course purple is for power, healing, sanctity and sentimentality.
Contact me now to chat about your handfasting ceremony.