Love Stories
The young girl who shared her love of flowers, the couple who want to marry by a lake for a very interesting reason, the girls with their eye on a beach ceremony, the couple who want something a little different to the norm, the woman who wants simple elegance for her daughter, le couple qui veut se marier au printemps, the guy who proposed under water…and more. Yesterday was a great day for stories….. Food for my soul.
Meeting you
Meeting people is one of the beautiful aspects of my job as a celebrant. It may sound cliched, but its true. Getting to know people more intimately, hearing their love stories is actually what makes my job the best in the world. I am eternally grateful for the stories that are shared with me.
Often at wedding events I meet many people seeking inspiration for their wedding. Marion Jonkers Photography shared the following lovely image, taken as she walked past my stall. And thank you to Willow Bud Flowers for the inspiring bottles of blooms. And thanks to all those people who shared their dreams, their wishes, their desires and their love stories.
Hearing Your Love Stories
The stories that are shared with me are precious. Some have said, “one day you could write a book…”. Well actually I don’t need to publish the book. The stories I tell are for particular occasions for specific people and places; an intimate tale for a ceremony. A wedding, commitment or indeed a funeral or baby naming ceremony are about stories. Real stories of people’s lives. They are fascinating, deep, layered and unique tales of individual lives. They tell tales from a particular perspective and experience. With these shared stories I can weave a ceremony that is a real reflection of real lives.
Let me write and tell your love story.
I look forward to helping tell the stories of some couples who I met at a recent wedding expo. The glimpses had were enough to entice me to want to explore these stories more deeply.
The stories I mentioned briefly, well these are the stories that make my job the best in the world.
Well that and sipping champagne in the bath! (Thanks to Marion Jonkers for this image as well!)
On 9th December 2017 it became law in Australia that two people could marry regardless of gender. Love and equality finally prevailed.
On Friday 15th of December something truly beautiful and poignant happened; two people fulfilled a wish of a long time. A community of strangers; family, friends, photographer, celebrant, magistrate, clerks and registrar pulled together to make this marriage happen in time. It would not be the first same sex ceremony I or others had witnessed in Australia, but possibly the first I had seen recognised by Australian law. It was an emotional moment when I read out the words of the new act; a privilege, an honour, and about time. A sacred moment on a sacred day.
Two words had changed in the Marriage Act, substituting “man a woman”, for “two people”, and for Jo and Jill that changed everything.
The first I knew of their love was a phone call on Thursday from Cittamani palliative care telling me a tale of Jo, a woman with a rare cancer, who wished to finally legally marry her beloved Jill. It was Jo’s persistence that had kept the idea alive. Jill was unsure how it could be achieved. She had read about the one month waiting period. But how could it happen in their own home at short notice? Cittamani nurses decided to ring me and pose the question. As a celebrant I am aware that under exceptional circumstances a shortening of time can be granted by the Registrar.
I met with Jill Thursday afternoon at the courthouse. She had tried to get all the paperwork sorted, signed, witnessed and lodged with the Magistrate. It just wasn’t possible that afternoon, we needed Jo’s signature, and it was 4.30pm.
I met Jo Thursday evening. Evenings are good for her. She had energy. And her bright blue eyes and delightful smile told me all I needed to know about their resolve to be married. Witnessing Jill and Jo together was a love story, quite convincingly profound. I was taken with the dozens of photos on the wall from their 2013 commitment ceremony – a day of promise, filled with family and friends. A true wedding day. I realised I had met two amazingly beautiful women, with a deep connection and strong commitment to each other.
Jill was firm in her wish that the marriage happen, but was feeling torn. Going back to the courthouse the next day was tricky. She wanted to stay and care for Jo. This marriage was important. So I offered to go instead. At 8.30 am the next day, Friday, I was outside the Nambour Courthouse at opening time. The local magistrate understood immediately and faxed the application direct to Brisbane, following it up with a phone call to convey the urgency.
On the other end, the Queensland Registry of Births Deaths and Marriages recognised the importance of this request, and sped through the process.
Within the half hour, the stamped approval came back. I could prepare the marriage papers right away: new formats, fresh from the Attorney General, and those important new words, “two people”. I was ecstatic. Jo and Jill were going to be married that afternoon! They were ecstatic.
Several more emails arrived from Births, Deaths and Marriages. They wished to offer a free registered marriage certificate and what’s more they would do it immediately. This is a process that usually takes weeks. I was so delighted by their care and understanding that I offered to hand deliver the papers to the Brisbane office first thing Monday morning, to help out the process. They made a better suggestion, and we made a plan.
I phoned a colleague and asked if she’d be willing to be photographer at this special event in a couple of hours. I knew she’d say yes. Thanks to Marion Jonkers for the professional photos of this auspicious day.
A garden lovingly created by Jo and Jill as a shared passion, provided the perfect setting for a wedding; beds of herbs, flowers, rock seats and wooden doorways. Jo’s namesake rose was in bloom. The herbs were fragrant. Everything looked divine for their wedding.
Jo’s friend cancelled all her clients, and turned up with her hair and makeup skills. “Do what you can!” said Jo, always in good humour. Jo’s Mum and husband were there. Jill’s sister too. They had come at a moment’s notice.
We sat in the cool of the garden. I read from Leunig, and spoke of ceremony, love and choosing. With profound tears in my eyes I proudly read the new marriage statement. They reiterated their vows from years ago, adding the sentence from the new marriage act. They exchanged wedding rings, held hands and gaze. Their broad smiles were all that was needed to express a deep and sincere joy at finally being married, wife and wife. “Hey Mrs”.
We embrace ceremony and ritual when something truly profound is happening in our lives. We do this because we need to make a space, in time and place, to honour the unseen world that we carry within us. Ceremony takes a moment away from the usual hum of life, to contemplate and warmly acknowledge an emotional world. Inner feelings become front and centre for the day. A marriage acknowledges this. It is always a special ceremony. This wedding was extremely special and sacred.
After the vows, I enacted the plan to deliver the certificates immediately. Births Deaths and Marriages Queensland wished to honour this special occasion by delivering the registered marriage certificate that very day. The Principal Project Officer drove north from the Brisbane office. And I drove south from the northern beaches. We met at a roadside station, sat at a truckies’ table and exchanged the precious paperwork.
I then drove back to join the reception and hand deliver their certificate. Jo and Jill had been approved, married and registered within one day!
When Jill was asked how long have you and Jo been together she responded, “a lifetime; and yet not long enough.”
Jo’s Mum told me, “Today is the happiest day of my life. On the day I married my own true love, I thought that was the happiest day of my life, and I thought I couldn’t get any happier. But actually today, I am happier, witnessing my daughter able to fulfil her wish to marry her own beloved.”
Jo’s touching speech recognised a day of love and compassion from a community made up of people she had just met, or had never met, and may never get to meet at all. The day was made possible by the goodwill of a community of all kinds of people with different roles and different commitments and different lives, wanting these two to be married in time.
Endings depend on where one leaves the story. The tale always continues. We rest here with the newly weds, Jill and Jo, for marriage according to the law of Australia is the full commitment or union of two people.
Kari
Friday 15th December 2017
(with editing assistance by Glenda and Jessi)
Photos by Marion Jonkers Photographer
Thanks to Cittamani Hospice, Nambour Courthouse, Queensland Births, Deaths and Marriages, Russell, Marion, Tracey and Emily.
with Sunshine Coast marriage celebrant – Kari
So much love, so much love, so much love. Wow what a wedding ceremony to remember!
Here on the Sunshine Coast, there are many perfect places for a wedding. But none seems quite more perfect for a family wedding than the property where one grew up, played by the creek, planted trees, and created memories. This wedding day created new loving memories for Renee and Brendan on the family farm.
The marriage ceremony was held down by the creek, in an idyllic grassy glade surrounded by forest and the sounds of whip birds and tusked frogs. A group of friends and family had created a magical haven. Let’s wander in and have a peek before the guests arrive…..
A stump by the entry was garlanded with festoons of newly blossomed jasmine and the welcome sign.
Daisies were tucked into the bark of trees, at the foot of saplings or behind ears.
A circle of hay surrounded by white roses and daisies tucked into the ground formed a magic fairy circle for a sacred ceremony.
Hay bales were arranged in arcs for seating. More hay was sprinkled underfoot for an aisle.
Local musician, Lee Hardisty played pied piper and led the guests to the ceremony, along by the creek. His pure sax sound drifted over the forest, gently encouraging a meander to the forest glade.
Enter the Bride and Groom. Groom softly greeted the guests. Kari – the celebrant sent hime for a wander with his mates while she briefed the guests on a surprise ending for the ceremony.
And, the bridal entourage arrived on the trailer of the tractor. Daughter, Peaches and her cousin walked down the aisle, to Daddy.
Renee walked down the aisle on her father’s arm to the exquisite sounds of thumb piano sweetly played by Lee.
Renee and Brendan could not have been more in love.
As a marriage celebrant on the Sunshine Coast hinterland, I witness many marriage vows; all heartfelt and meaningful. But on this wedding day, Renee’s vows to her beloved Sav nearly brought me to tears.
Amongst other things she promised to “love you beyond fear, judgement, expectations and anger….. I promise to love you so hard it changes the world…. I promise to hold you when your heart weeps, to plant trees with you and watch them grow, to help you know your own power.”
After the ceremony, guests followed the music back to the farm shed, replete with hanging floral garland, tables of colour, and taste.
And they partied on in the moonlight, starlight and radiance of their family, friends and love.
Thanks to Maggie Buckle for some of the professional images. Instagram #@maggijeann
The early ones are my own, irresistibly taken while waiting for the guests.
This is what they said about Kari’s celebrant service:
“Kari is a beautiful, warm, kind and connected woman with a sophisticated confidence that makes one feel safe in her presence. Although we had only met her in person once before our wedding day, we knew that she would understand our love and sincerely appreciate the magic that abides in such a ceremony. Her creative heart and generous demeanour left a mark on our hearts at such a special moment in our journey. Thank you Kari.” Renee & Brendan
