Crafting Your Perfect Wedding Ceremony – Part 1

Crafting Your Perfect Wedding Ceremony – Part 1

Welcome to Your Wedding Journey

This post is the introduction to a series of posts designed as a compendium to help us plan out your wedding or elopement ceremony.  I believe the process is a collaboration.  We walk side by side in planning and preparing your ceremony.  My aim is to do the hard work, and listen to your plans, dreams and notions… teasing out your ideas into a reality.

Embracing Tradition and Individuality

Your wedding ceremony is a reflection of your unique love story. Whether you’re drawn to timeless traditions or seeking a more contemporary approach, the choice is yours. Let’s explore the myriad of possibilities and create a ceremony that honours your values, beliefs, and personalities as a couple.

I am committed to not only the idea of marriage but the qualities that legalising such a union in a public manner can contribute to a couples’ commitment to each other.  I believe in the determination to maintain the marriage as a quality relationship for both of you, for families and for your wider community.  I recognise the value of marriage on a societal level, in maintaining stability within a community and extending family connections beyond a nuclear family to extended families.  Marriage brings two extended families together, and encourages connections beyond the individual. 

For some people an elegantly simple ceremony is the only type that will do.  For others something much more laid back and casual, a little more modern.

You may like to include a myriad of other traditions or rituals from family heritage, culture or even invent their own. Or you may like to hark back to bygone times with a Pagan Ceremony, a Hand Fasting Ritual or a Medieval Ceremony. 

Crafting Your Love Story

Every love story is special, and yours deserves to be celebrated in a way that’s meaningful to you. As your wedding celebrant, I specialise in crafting individual ceremonies that capture the essence of your relationship. Together, we’ll weave together the moments, memories, and milestones that have brought you to this joyous occasion.  I offer to retell your love story as a light hearted addition to your ceremony.

Embracing the Beauty of the Sunshine Coast

On the stunning Sunshine Coast, your wedding ceremony is set against a backdrop of natural beauty and coastal charm. Whether you’re exchanging vows on a secluded beach, in a lush rainforest, or at a picturesque vineyard, the possibilities are endless. Let’s explore the unique venues and settings that make your wedding day truly unforgettable.

Your Stress-Free Wedding Experience

Planning a wedding can be overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be. As your dedicated wedding celebrant, I’m here to alleviate the stress and ensure a seamless experience from start to finish. With my local expertise and network of trusted suppliers, you can relax and enjoy every moment of your special day.

It may help to think of a marriage ceremony as a transition, from your life as a single person to that of a partnership, as part of a married couple.  The Marriage ceremony assists you with this transition; it essentially ritualises your transition.

Get in Touch

Ready to start planning your perfect wedding ceremony on the Sunshine Coast? I specialise in writing individual ceremonies.  I begin with a fresh canvas, to tell your very own love story.  I walk beside you, as together we plan your own ceremony. 

Let’s connect and begin this exciting journey together. Whether you have questions, ideas, or simply want to say hello, I’m here to help make your wedding dreams a reality. 

Crafting Your Perfect Wedding Ceremony – Index

Welcome to Your Wedding Journey

Are you ready to embark on the journey of a lifetime? Your wedding day is a celebration of love, commitment, and the continuation of a beautiful partnership. As a wedding celebrant on the Sunshine Coast, I’m here to guide you through every step of the way, from envisioning your dream ceremony to bringing it to life.  I consider it a collaboration.  I do the hard part, and you, the easy part.

This series of posts is designed as a folio of ideas; a compendium to help us plan out your wedding or elopement ceremony.  I am here to assist you in writing and preparing all aspects of your ceremony.  You can read all of it, or dip inot the chapters when necessary. Or read none of it. It’s here as a reference guide.
Together let’s make your ceremony perfect for you.

Index

Crafting Your Perfect Ceremony – Part 1

Wedding Ceremony Structure Demystified- Part 2

Rituals, Traditions & Special Moments – Part  3

Sample Marriage Ceremonies – Part 4

Wedding Vows – Traditional – Part 5a

Wedding Vows – Samples – Part 5b

Exchanging Wedding Rings – Part 6

Changing to Your Married Name – Part 7

Poetry and Prose – Part 8

Marriage Certificates – Part 9

Feedback – Part 10

Dance me to the end of love

Dance me to the end of love

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A Wedding dance like no other

This wedding put a smile on every face, and finished with spontaneous dancing, a special kind of wedding dance in the temple!  It was exhilarating and heartwarming, deep and loving,……….and so much fun!

Congratulations to Tracy and Oliver on your perfect wedding held at Awakening Centre in Maleny, on the Sunshine Coast Hinterland. And a huge thank you to Marion Jonkers Photography for the images.

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Wedding in the temple

It began outside the temple.  Tracy floated down the wooden steps in a sheer and softly falling wedding dress, with her Mum and her Dad, to the sounds of American Indian drumming.

 

Andy and Laurel, the owners of the Awakening Centre, greeted her at the foot of the stairs and the three passed through drummed music, a musical cleansing, on the journey to her groom, Oliver.  He waited patiently with all the guests on the sandstone paving…with an enormous grin on his face.

Bride and Groom had a moment to greet each other.  Celebrant, Kari welcomed the bride’s family reminiscent of village weddings in times gone by.  All the guests were invited to shed their shoes and enter the bright airy temple in the round with huge glass windows onto the rainforest backdrop.

Tracy and Oliver waited outside to enjoy a tiny moment’s space before their ceremony.  Gently the sounds of the crystal singing bowls lifted up, swam around the space and wafted out to call the bride and groom into the temple space.  They floated in on the strains of pure sound.

And thus a wedding ceremony began, in absolute pure happiness.  We did not imagine the wedding dance to come.

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Handfasting vows

Tracy and Oliver chose a handfasting to make their promises to each other. In a modern interpretation of a traditional ritual, we crafted promises into a series of questions.  It was so easy for them to simply respond “I will”.  At the finalé, they added their special messages to each other.  Oliver began, “You are my puzzle, my world, my best friend,”  referring to the pieces of a jigsaw, just like his interlocking puzzle wedding ring.  Tracy, in turn told him, ” You are my life partner, my soul mate, my lover, my best friend. ”

A song for the signing

As the papers were signed, Andy Copeman sang one of the most beautiful love songs I know, written by Ewan MacColl for his future wife Peggy Seeger.  Andy interspersed the verses with a Sufi poem.  It was simply divine

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The first time I ever saw your face

The first time ever I saw your face

I thought the sun rose in your eyes

And the moon and the stars were the gifts you gave

To the dark and the endless skies

 

…….And the first time ever I lay with you

I felt your heart so close to mine

And I knew our joy would fill the earth

And last till the end of time my love

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And a spontaneous wedding dance

At the completion of the ceremony and signing, Andy chimed in with “Lay lay, lay lay…” and Leonard Cohen’s endlessly evocative song, Dance Me to the End of Love.

The guests, on a true high spontaneously joined hands and danced in a circle…to the end of love!

Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin
Dance me through the panic ’til I’m gathered safely in
Lift me like an olive branch and be my homeward dove
Dance me to the end of love
…….
Dance me to the wedding now, dance me on and on
Dance me very tenderly and dance me very long
We’re both of us beneath our love, we’re both of us above
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the children who are asking to be born
Dance me through the curtains that our kisses have outworn
Raise a tent of shelter now, though every thread is torn
Dance me to the end of love

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In their words

This is what Tracy and Oliver said:

“We cannot recommend Kari highly enough. Her beautiful spirit and energy and complete professionalism, together with her attention to detail, made our wedding day perfect. We had a small wedding, and we wanted a ceremony that spoke to who we are, far from traditional. We were not very specific in our first meeting with Kari, we came up with very conceptual ideas and Kari turned them into reality, and made them more beautiful than we could have imagined. Kari is able to read and understand a couple extremely well and is a truly beautiful person, and we cannot thank her enough for her part in making our day stress free and truly magical.” Oliver & Tracy

And then there was drinks on the veranda accompanied by the most original platters of food decorations I have ever seen.  And of course these were made with love by Tracy’s food loving parents.  Yes lots of love was there that day.

So Dance me to the end of love, I say.  Just dance me.

Once again, thank you to Marion Jonkers Photography for the images. And to Andy and Laurel at Awakening Centre.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

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With this ring I thee wed

With this ring I thee wed

“With this ring I thee wed…..”

a wedding ring is considered to be a circle with no end, a symbol of the wedding vows.

Many a wedding is not complete without an exchange of wedding rings.

“With this ring I thee wed.”

Do we recall this phrase from old movies?  Many a wedding is not complete without an exchange of wedding rings.  A ring is not technically part of the legal aspect of a wedding ceremony. However, in my celebrant experience 98% of couples choose to enact this traditional ritual, and place a ring on each other’s fingers.  Although, I have had one Bridegroom who chose an earring in his left ear rather than a wedding band on his left hand!  And one couple made their rings from woven fibres.

BUT none that I know, have elected for a ring on the nose like the one chosen from the Piggy-wig by The Owl and the Pussycat.  You can look up that famous poem.

wedding ring with clusters of diamondsdiamond ring by John Bexon
 

a circle with no end…

A ring, as we know is a circle with no end, symbolic of a completeness, or a union with no end, a marriage to last forever; the unbroken circle of love between a husband and wife.   Worn as a reminder of wedding vows made by one to the other, the wedding band holds great importance to most wedded couples.

It can be said at a wedding, “A circle is the symbol of the sun and the earth and the universe. In these rings it is the symbol of unity, in which your lives are now joined in one unbroken circle.  Wherever you go, you will always return to one another and to your togetherness.”

The ring may or may not have enormous resale value but becomes absolutely precious to the wearer, an enduring and valuable symbol of promises made on their wedding day.  It takes but a moment to say I love you, it takes a second to place a ring on the finger, but marriage is the promise of forever, and that is why most couples choose a precious metal – gold or platinum, reflective of the preciousness of their rings in their married lives.

Unusual wedding ring with triangle shape and pearl feature

ring by Bold in Gold

I know of many women of my mother’s generation who have never taken their rings off. Their husband first placed them on their third finger of the left hand at the marriage altar.

Some modern women may take their ring off now and again whilst doing jobs that may scratch of damage their wedding ring.  But always it is a ring that one would wear constantly.  Other jewellery may come and go.  Some is  worn for special occasions. However, the wedding ring endures as a timeless treasure.

So given it is something to cherish for many many years, most couples will take their time to choose the perfect ring.  Some even have them custom made.

very unusual wedding ring featuring topaz stone in a gold basket

design by Loretta Bexon

finding the perfect wedding ring…

I’d like to introduce some ideas of where to go to find your perfect wedding ring.

a local jeweller…

Shop local, it is the thing to do. Embrace the idea of the personal touch.  Here on the Sunshine Coast we have several fine jewellers who make bespoke products to fulfil your design wishes.

Take in your inherited jewellery and have it remodelled for your own wedding.  You could have Great Grandmas rings remodelled in a modern style.  Something old, something new? Perhaps you’d prefer order a set of wedding rings to a custom design.  Bring your local craftsperson an idea or a picture and they can make it a reality for you.  Watch them work your piece for you and bask in the warmth of something made locally AND professionally.

close up of jewellers hands filing a wedding ring

His and hers matching pair of wedding rings, hers with a blue stone

Funky modern wedding ring with pearl feature

classic engagement ring with large diamond

Unusual wedding ring with clusters of blue stones

rings by Bexon Jewellers

finding the perfect wedding ring…

A meaningful alternative to mass production, is to have your wedding rings made for you by a local craftsman. These artisans are practising a craft centuries old.  They dedicate their lives to a particular craft, and the skills required to keep their craft up to date.  In an age where we are often disconnected to how our daily things are made, having your wedding ring designed for you especially is a memorable gift, a lasting reminder of your wedding day.  You can even visit your rings and watch their progress.

There are so many wedding venues in and around Montville on the Hinterland Range above the Sunshine Coast.  If this area is your dream wedding location, you may like to visit Bold In Gold in Montville, while you’re planning your wedding day.

Bold in Gold offer you the chance to have your wedding rings individually designed and handcrafted by a team of highly skilled designer-goldsmiths. Their designers ensure your finished  wedding rings represent your individuality in beautifully finished rings in the materials of your choice.

If  you have no firm  idea on your wedding rings, don’t be too concerned,  you can first view many different designs to get the feel for your likes and dislikes and then use the ideas this generates to design your very own unique wedding rings, even unusual, yet always exquisitely hand-crafted.  

The work of Bold in Gold is often different to classic styles, featuring unusual shapes and settings, or a mix of precious metals.  Get a matching pair made. 

Modern engagement ring with long rectangular green stone

matched pair of wedding rings, engagement with large stone, wedding band with row of small diamonds

His and hers wedding rings with two tone gold and diamond features

Unusual wedding band with two tone gold and captured diamond

modern wedding ring with captured pearl and inset diamonds

rings by Bold in Gold

Awwwwhhh it makes want to get married again, just to rediscover the joy of choosing my wedding ring.

Check out some local suppliers that I have worked with.

But wait there’s more. 

If you want to do something really unusual, you can take it a step further and even make your own Wedding Rings!  There are a few artisans who run make your own wedding ring workshops.  These come and go, so search in your locality for a specialist jeweller. Now that would be a truly romantic  experience, spending a day in a goldsmiths workshop making your rings together.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column]

Now what to say?

Here’s 8 things to say when exchanging wedding rings

8 things to say when exchanging wedding rings

8 things to say when exchanging wedding rings

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8 things to say when exchanging wedding rings

[/vc_column_text][vc_column_text]The question is does one simply place the wedding ring on your dear one’s finger… or do you say something poignant as well?

In this story we explore the background of the wedding ring, but more importantly, what to say at that special moment when you are exchanging rings.  There’s a list of 8 things to say… and plenty more to ponder as well.

AND my free gift to you .. at the end of the story; a little tip for you to take to your wedding.

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Why a wedding ring?

For thousands of years lovers have exchanged a wedding ring as tokens of their vows……
Of course there is no legal imperative to use rings in your ceremony, but it is a custom that most couples still hold dear for their wedding day. A ring is a gift you wear forever as a reminder of your wedding day, and the promises you gave to each other.  It is indeed precious, of course, because it is made from valuable materials; shiny metals and sparkly stones.  Yet the wedding ring is made absolutely treasured because of its symbolism.

The ring connects to the heart

Shakespeare wrote, “Now join your hands, and with your hands your hearts.” Some believe that the hands are a connection to the heart, and a hand blessing symbolically brings two hearts together.

paired wedding rings making a love heart when put side by side

Your wedding ring

So you’ve been shopping for a wedding ring, trying things on, thinking about what exactly you would like to wear into the future.  All the time anticipating the ceremony, when the ring will be placed on your hand for the first time.

This is something you may not have thought much about. This is where your celebrant comes into the picture to help you with things to say when exchanging your rings.

But before we explore what to say, let’s take a step back and consider the history of the wedding ring.

Where did the wedding ring come from?

According to some historians, the first recorded rings linked with a marriage ceremony date back to the days when early man tied plaited circlets around the Bride’s wrists and ankles to keep her spirit from running away. Approximately 3,000 BC, Egyptians originated the phrase “without beginning, without end” in describing the significance of the wedding ring. These rings were made of woven hemp which constantly wore out and needed replacement.

A gold ring

It was the Romans who originally used iron, gold is now used as a symbol of all that is pure. Diamonds were first used by Italians, who believed that it was created from the flames of love. According to some European cultures, the wedding ring is worn on the right hand. In other cultures, an engagement ring is worn on the left hand, and the wedding ring is worn on the right hand.

his and hers wedding rings set with blue saphires

Which finger?

We all expect wedding rings to go on the left hand ring finger.  It is said that this finger has a vein that goes straight to the heart. Perhaps there is also a Chinese meridian of love making the same connection. However in my celebrant career, I have seen rings on the right hand as per the custom in many European countries.  I have also seen wedding nose rings, wedding ear rings, wedding wrist watches, tattooed wedding rings and more.  And only once have I seen them dropped!!  But that’s another story.

What do I say when I put the ring on his finger?

You need not say anything at all. Sometimes it is what you do that is as important as what you say.  You can simply slide the ring onto his finger… then tug and twist and push until it goes over the knuckle!!! Because generally wedding rings don’t slide on easily!!  I have a tip for that too… but for now read on…

You may like to say a little something. It does not need to be a long message. You have just exchanged vows; the moment which would usually encapsulate your promise. So for the rings exchange need not be wordy.  You are just searching for a few words  to say whilst slipping the ring on your love’s finger

So … drumroll …… here are

8 things you can say when exchanging your wedding rings

  1. With this ring I thee wed
    This is the longtime classic phrase.  The grammar seems old school and a bit foreign. Perhaps it seems a little formal.  But it is very traditional.  And depending on how you say it, can be quite poignant or funny even.
  2. I give you this wedding ing to wear to seal the promises I make to you today
    I guess this outlines the fact that the ring seals a promise of marriage.
  3. I give you this ring as a symbol of my love for you. Let it be a reminder that I am always by your side and that I will always be a faithful partner to you.
    This phrase is kind of an extension to your wedding vows.  It encompasses some of the classic sentiments of marriage, that you want to be faithful.. for always.
  4. I give you this ring as a symbol of my love, my faith in our strength together, and my covenant to learn and grow with you
  5. With this ring, I marry you. With my loving heart. With my willing body. And with my eternal soul.
  6. I give you this ring, as I give to you all that I am, and accept from you, all that you are.
  7. This ring is a circle with no end, just like my love for you. Wear this ring and recall my promise to you today.
  8. As you cherish this ring, so I cherish you

But that’s not all…. there are other options above and beyond 8 things to say when exchanging wedding rings…. You can…..

Or …say it with a poem

A simple and poignant poem is

With this ring, I thee wed
With my body, I thee worship
With my heart, I thee cherish
Would all that I am, I give unto you
Would all that I have, I share with you
From this day until forever done.

Another delightful solution is to choose someone to read the poem, “These are the Hands…” No one seems to know the original author, and it has appeared in several versions. It is also easy to personalise to your own situation. For example, substitute, young for mature, or care for cherish, or the present tense for the past tense for a longer relationship/engagement or for a renewal of vows….. etc. Try this while you exchange rings:

These are the hands, author unknown

These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love,

that hold yours on your wedding day.

These are the hands that will work along side yours as you build your future together.

These are the hands that will passionately love you and care for you throughout the years.

These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief torments your mind and with the slightest touch, will comfort you like no other.

These are the hands that will give you strength when you struggle, and support and encouragement to chase down your dreams.

These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children, and help keep your family together as one.

These are the hands that will, countless times, wipe the tears from yours eyes, tears of sorrow, and tears of joy.

And lastly, these are the hands that even when wrinkled with age, will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch—- a touch from these hands.

What other options are there for a wedding ring?

How about a handfasting ritual or a ring warming. Ask me, I’ll tell you how.

unusual wedding ring with uneven row of set diamonds in gold and silver band

And now that you have read to the end, my tip for those reluctant rings on swollen fingers.

On a wedding day we are so excited our fingers often swell up or go cold or dry, or hot… or anything but normal!!

So if you smear a little paw paw cream or vaseline on the inside of the rings before you place them in the ring box, then you will be surprised how easily they slide onto your fingers during your wedding ceremony.

There you go, my celebrant’s tip for exchanging wedding rings.

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